How to Attract Love and Keep it

It's Friday night, 2 a.m and yet I still can't sleep. Too many thoughts racing across my mind as I wonder if things would be different if I had someone special right by my side. Would my mind be more at ease knowing I had a signifigant partner to help take some of my daily pressures and burdens away ? Independent woman, that's what I am and have managed to become for most of my life. However, any woman would agree with me that it gets remotely lonely sometimes. Sure, there's pets, shopping,and chocolate to help take away some of the urges. Thus, after all these years, I finally realize I not only want a man but I need one as well. Don't get me wrong, I don't ever actually need a man to complete or fulfill me. However,I do believe it's essential to share your world with some one special as no one should be alone.

Ufortunately, some how like millions of single men and women out there, time after time, year after year, I seem to have the worst luck in attracting the right partner suitable for me upon my quest to find real love in life. Recently, I attracted a man who seemed quite interested in me. Our zodiac signs were even compatible for once ! All my life, every time I check my love horoscope ,it tells me an Aries such as myself is very compatible with a Leo. Although, I never actually believed my love horoscope since I never really got along with Leo signs in general. I guess you can't depend too much on astrology when it comes to love.




Another Shot At Love

After getting well acquainted with this man, I decided it couldn't hurt to give love another chance. Surprisingly, I was able to immediately connect with him on many levels. We began to talk on the phone for hours, from late night till the early morning, as this became our daily routine. It was kind of odd as I never met anyone who shared so many of the same qualties and values such as myself before. He was funny, possessed a great deal of humor, was shy, charming, charismatic,yet bold. He acquired a certain innocence to him claiming he hadn't been intimate or involved in a real relationship in ages. Wow ! Finally, someone I could easily relate to.He sounded just like me ! As each day passed along, I got a chance to get to know him better and better.The more I was in his presence, the more I wanted to be around him and get closer .I thought this is it, he definitely could be the one for me !


As time went by,things suddenly changed.I began noticing his openly flirtacious ways with different women, clearly a desperate cry out for attention. I started to see how dishonest he was when I caught him in a few lies about certain things,especially when it came to his verbal interaction with various women over the telephone.It was like one big game to him as he became quite amused when I would confront him about his cheating ways. It's almost as if he wanted me to get jealous some how, in order to boost his ego.Yet, I still believed in my heart he was the faithful, inexperienced man I wanted to get to know. Thus, I figured he was insecure and needed all this unnecessary attention for validation. I tried to reassure him he was adequate for me as I expressed my hurt and anger due to his carelessly open flirtacious ways. He promised me he would change and said he wasn't a cheater.

I stood by his side because I stopped looking at him as a potential lover and started seeing him as my real friend whom I not only confided in but loved as a person. Sadly, he never could bring himself to completely trust in me with all his information regarding his past or could reveal his actual feelings inside towards me. Just when I thought we were getting close to forming a real romantic relationship and this was becoming something rather serious , he disappeared completely after one night of a very long, intense conversation over the phone.The night we last spoke, he implied we would be together and he wanted a strong commitment with me. No goodbyes, or hints he was leaving. I just never heard from him ever again after that day. Apparently, he either got cold feet and knew he couldn't offer me what I needed in a relationship or I was simply another game to him.I was hurt. How he could let a frienship like ours fade away? In the end,I had no choice but to move on.



Still after everything was said and done I wondered why I would attract someone who wasn't serious about a relationship and played games. How can somone who wants the complete opposite and never plays games attract this? Didn't I deserve to be treated better? I'm not saying I'm perfect. I am only human and it's more than natural for me to make mistakes. However when two people really like one another,they tend to accept certain things about the person by truly seeing the good in him/her. So what did I do wrong ?





How Do We Attract Real Love ?

Never Blame Yourself

First off, I can't blame myself for someone else's actions or feelings towards me. Sure I could have done things different, said all the right things and made all the right moves. Although I wouldn't have been real by keeping my feelings bottled up inside as there is still no guarantee I would have had a healthy relationship by having relations with someone under false pretenses. The truth is he clearly was not the right one for me. When someone is not right for you, it doesn't matter how hard you try to be with them. The relationship, if ever established will clearly fail and you will eventually wonder where and how you ever went wrong. The one we love may not always be the right one for us.

Love Thy Self Unconditionally

One thing we all have to practice and incooperate in our every day life is to really love ourselves first,unconditionally. Self confidence is the key to any successful relationships. Believe in yourself means believing you can attract true love. If you don't love yourself first, how can you expect anyone else to love you ? By loving you, be nice to yourself. Treat yourself how you would want to be treated in a romantic relationship. That means be kind, sweet, loving,patient,and forgiving to yourself. Always compliment your style and appearance.You don't look good. You look great.

Where Can I Find The Right One ?

Try to find places you could attract someone who shares the same interests as yourself. True enough, you could attract a potential partner shopping at your local grocery store. But the question is would you really be attracted to this person as well ? Would he/she want the same exact type of relationship you are searching for ? Sure, you can go to a club as most people of our generation tend to do these days. But what are the odds of finding "a serious partner" at a club full of alcohol, loud music, tons of other men/women which will most likely end up leading to intoxication and grinding on the dance floor. People go to clubs to have a good time and vent out , to have a few drinks and maybe actually dance. Any one who usually wants to hook up at a club has other agendas on their mind. Please wake up and realize no one goes to a club in hopes of finding a serious relationship people !! You want to make sure you don't attract someone who's looking for a convenient encounter verses something meaningful and long term.

If for instance, you're a person who is religious you may want someone who shares the same values and beliefs as yourself. There for it can't hurt to join a single adult ministry program at your local church .Singles group organization ministries offer a list of activities such as weekly dances and picnics available for singles in your local area. www.singlesorganizations.com/organizations.html Depending on your interest or hobby, there's always some where you can connect with someone. If you love poetry,attend poetry reading night at Da Poetry Lounge in Los Angeles www.yelp.com/biz/da-poetry-lounge-los-angeles If you are a book worm like myself, don't hesitate to join a book club where you can discuss books you read through out the month.Union Square Reading Group in New York is a wonderful place for singles to meet www.meetup.com/unionsquare/ as so is The Chicago Book Club Meetup Group www.bookclub.meetup.com/307/ These places are definitely worth trying as you will not only enjoy yourself because it's something you like to do but you might also meet someone who shares the same interests as yourself in the process.

The internet is a place of endless opportunities for online dating as there are many dating sites available according to your needs. You can find a partner who is seeking something long term, a friend, or just dating in general. Keep in mind myspace,facebook,and twitter are social sites and not dating sites.Don't get me wrong these sites are great for networking and keeping in touch with friends and family but most people who have an account on one of these sites, don't have one in the hopes of finding romance and true love. The last thing you want is myspace drama by competing with back to back comments on someone's site who is likely either taken or a player in general.

If you choose to join an online dating site,my advice is to join a paying dating site based on your needs. Like anything else in life, you'll come to find people are serious when it comes to spending their own money, especially when it's pertaining to dating the woman/man of choice. This also means you'll be less likely to find someone who's trying to experiment with a whole bunch of different candidates all over the net. My experience with free dating sites have been proven to be ineffective, unreliable, and disappointing.Two people I actually met from http://www.plentyoffish.com/ were married and the third was a freak of nature !

Match.com has been around for over a decade serving over 24 countries worldwide. http://www.match.com/

A Single Christian Network is a dating service for Christian singles, offering personals, dating advice, singles information, Christian information, Christian dating and more. Christian Singles

JDate.com is the premier Jewish community online for dating Jewish singles. http://www.jdate.com/

Megafriends is one of the most popular dating sites on the Internet today, offering such unique features as ChatSee Video Chat. www.megafriends.com/?rid=mfrs8274


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Christian Singles


Take Your Time

I'm not implying you'll immediately find true love once you sign up and create an account with one of these sites, as nothing is guaranteed .Like everything in life, this takes time as well. Thus, you'll have a much better chance of attracting someone who's serious about dating as well as a serious committed relationship. Remember, to be patient as the right one may not be the first, second, or third person you meet and establish some type of communication or even bond with. Take your time and get to know who you're dealing with. The most important thing is to never give up. Believe in your heart true love exists and you are worthy of it. Hence, it will be yours when the timing is right. Make sure to always strongly express your desires,wants and needs. As you may know by now, a closed mouth, does not get fed.Don't be afraid to tell the person what you want out of the relationship or how you feel about him/her. If you don't like something the person does or says, make sure to point it out
to them. There's nothing worse than a repeated negative pattern in a relationship enabling you to get upset or uncomfortable when it could be avoided all together.Like wise, learn to accept constructive criticism in return. He/She is not always going to tell you what you want to hear. Listening to your partner is a very important quality which you must acquire in order to make the relationship work. Try not to give each other any negative feedback by using positive words and reinforcement as you should always uplift one another.Encourage each other to be the best he/she can be. After all, that's what a relationship is all about.
"We're all part of God's great big family and love is all we need". Michael Jackson

Why Men Never Call

Isn't it funny how every guy promises to call a girl at a certain day or time? Yet chances are he never will commit to calling us girls. It drives us women wild, crazy, and confused all in one. Like every women out there, you're probably wondering, "Why you, Why is he doing you like this"? Before you get all shook up thinking he lost interest in you, convinced he's just not that into you, try to look at things from a man's perspective. By human nature, men are predators and like to chase thus capture their prey, especially in a relationship. Hence, once a man truly knows you are interested in him, he backs off and plays the role of hard to get, acting as if he's forgotten totally about you.

It's a dirty dating game men play, I must admit. What ever happened to true romance in relationships? It's amazing how guys love to keep us wondering and guessing at all times. Then just when we think it's over, you receive that long awaited phone call from your guy.You want to ask him where he's been, scream at the top of your lungs,"Why haven't you called"? Yet he acts as if everything is normal , completely bypassing the fact he promised to call you a whole week prior !

The best thing to do here is calm down and take a deep breath ! Remember, he's a man and doesn't think with emotions like us women. Play the game right along with him and act as if you were too busy and occupied to actually notice he didn't call all this time. The more you show a man how concerned and upset you are, the more he will run the other way. In his mind he will paint a picture of an emotionally unstable woman who can't deal with the program. He will assume you are too clingy and need a man to complete the empty voids you are missing in your life.
Men love to test us women, as they want to truly know we are capable of accepting them for who they are and see if we are up for the challenge. It's a sign of pure strength. Don't ever let a man upset you if he doesn't call you when he says he will or stalk him in return. The saying "women are from Venus and men are from Mars" is so completely true ! We will never understand men or everything about them. Thus, from our own personal experience we can learn how to deal with men we're dating individually and attract the right one !

5 Tips on Building a Strong,Loving Relationship

After dealing with men, love, and dating issues I learned some very valuable tactics on how to become more perceptive when it comes to dealing with relationships. Remember, in order to build a dynamic, healthy relationship you have to take your time to get to know one another as you complete the courting process.
Just because you are an adult , it most certainly doesn't mean you have to rush into something you're not ready for. Take your time. Relationships tend to fail when you expedite the process. These are my Five Tips on Building a Loving Relationship :


1. Think about what kind of involvement you seek with a potential partner. Ask yourself if this person has all the qualities you are searching for. Upon getting to know some one, it is quite normal to start developing feelings for them. Hence after some time you may begin to make adjustments to your expected standards based on the individual. Now if you're a person who is adam ant about what she/he wants ,you may not want to settle for a partner who doesn't meet all of your expectations. However, love is blind. You can't control who you end up falling head over heels for in the end. So, once feelings are attained and you feel like this is it , he/she is the one ,make sure to follow your heart.


2. Do not be scared ! Just because you got hurt in the past,it doesn't mean you can't give love another try. It make take an excessive amount of time to truly connect with your real soul mate. However, the key element here is to be patient and never give up. You have to deeply believe your partner is out there some where. Hence one day each person will find one another.If you believe in God, you know God is with you,God exists, and God is love. Through God all great things can be manifested. So why wouldn't you believe love is real and you will receive it ?


3. Don't get Love confused with Lust: Many people tend to desire another person based on pure physical attraction. Thus, temptation will eventually lead you to intimacy. I feel like many women get sex confused with love and think just because you share a special bond with a person, he or she now developed the same feelings as yourself. Don't get me wrong. Sex is the most beautiful and passionate form of affection two people can show one another. Thus, the art of making love should involve two people who are genuinely in love with one another. The fact remains, as you make sure the person you are giving your most meaningful element, which is indeed your heavenly body is definitely worthy of your loving. Keep in mind, it doesn't matter if you are an adult or if you choose to wait until the timing is right and you are ready. If the person doesn't wish to respect your wishes by holding on ,then they are not the one for you. It might be old fashioned but it's called "respect".



4.Love yourself !! This fact is very essential in order to form a strong foundation with a potential partner. Think about it, "How can you truly begin to love someone else if you don't really love yourself first ?" Commence and continue to love all aspects of you,including every physical attribute you acquire as well as all your personality traits. Please believe that you have a great deal to offer in a relationship. Matter of fact, start a journal based on all the things you love about yourself each and every God given day. There may be times, that you might have endured a horrible day. Subsequently, you'd be amazed at the most basic things you've accomplished to help make it through the hours. Give yourself credit ! In the end, recognize that you are a true survivor. That in itself, should be acknowledged and acclaimed. So, pat yourself on the back as you come to the realization that you can love yourself. Think about how lucky the man or woman you give a chance to be with you will become.



5. Be patient and kind . Okay, so now that you found love , what are you gonna do with it ? You may have found your soul mate , your potential partner of a life time. Thus, now is definitely not the time to take love for granted, assuming your partner will be there no matter what you do or say. Treat her/him with kindness, love, respect, and admiration. Don't be afraid to show them you really care. We, as human beings need to be nurtured with affection. Just because we found love, doesn't mean it's time to get comfortable in the relationship as your partner would need more gratification than a simple verbal "I love you". You have to show actions and acts of passionate admiration and love for one another. If you want to keep the romance going or want the love to stay strong,don't get too comfortable and forget your significant other's importance in your life. It's a partnership, as each mate needs to keep their end of the bargain. Love and relationships are not easy. Like everything else in life they take a lot of hard work and dedication. So, dedicate yourself to the one you love and know your man's/woman's worth !